I can’t remember much about my school reports, but I do recall a particular comment on my very last one. “Robin is bright and hard-working,” the teacher wrote, “but I do wish he would find more time to enjoy life more and to smell the roses.”
I’ll be honest, I regret not heeding that advice more often over the years. And I’m sure it’s not just Type A people like me — impatient, goal-driven multi-taskers — who find it hard to savour life as we should. The modern world is so fast-paced that most of us could benefit from spending a little more time in the slow lane.
Indeed there’s research which shows that simply appreciating meaningful things and people in our lives can make a huge contribution to our overall happiness.
What we particularly need to do, says writer Jeffrey Davis, is to recapture our sense of wonder. We need to allow ourselves, for example, to be transfixed by the moon, to marvel at the eloquence of a six-year-old child or to appreciate the elegant design of a really well-made chair.
Bringing wonder into our lives, he says, can lead to more fulfilment, creative expression and better relationships.
Six facets of wonder
So how do you go about it? Well, in a book called Tracking Wonder, Davis sets out six main ways to rediscover some of that wonder we felt as children.
The author calls these the six facets of wonder: openness, curiosity, bewilderment, hope, connection and admiration. Let’s look at each in turn.
Openness
The first facet of wonder that Davis writes about is the ability to be open to things. We need to “enter that space where we don’t know the answers” and be willing to make new discoveries. That means listening to others, asking questions, trying a new hobby, visiting new places and meeting people with different ideas to our own.
Curiosity
Children are naturally curious, but many of us lose that curiosity in adulthood; we’re conditioned to assume it’s better not to ask questions. But Davis urges us to question things — and to be curious for its own sake, not just in the hope of getting something out of it. He suggests keeping a journal of things we’re curious about, or collecting unusual objects that spark wonder within us.
Bewilderment
This might seem an unusual way to instil a sense of wonder. After all, bewilderment is disorienting and not a particularly comfortable state to be in. But, says Davis, not only is it natural to feel bewildered at times, but it can also be very positive. Innovators, for example, harness the energy of profound confusion to experience breakthroughs. So, instead of seeking quick answers, he suggests we embrace confusion, and use it to think about the direction our lives are heading in and the people we’re becoming.
Hope
One of wonder’s most powerful facets, says Davis, is its ability to inspire hope within us. Studies have shown how hopeful people tend to be more successful, and have greater physical stamina and higher self-esteem, than average. One suggestion the author makes is to set yourself a goal, then go for a walk and decide on the steps you need to take to achieve it, and how to overcome any obstacles in your way.
Connection
Connection is what Davis calls the “flock” facet. The author admits that he enjoys days of “creative solitude” where he can focus on his personal projects and goals. But, he says, people naturally want to “sync up”. Collaborating with others also helps us to combat our personal biases. He therefore recommends proactively planning human connection. Start by asking yourself which three people you could connect with regularly for mutual support and inspiration.
Admiration
The final facet of wonder is admiration, or what Davis describes as experiencing “a surprising love for someone else’s excellence that can awaken us to become better at what we do and we do it”. Why not try it? Instead of being irritated, for example, by someone who posts about their work achievements or luxury holidays on social media, genuinely look for the positives. Ask yourself what you can learn, or what inspiration you can take, from their approach to life.
Give the gift of wonder
One final thing… Don’t just think about renewing your own sense of wonder; think of ways to inspire wonder in someone else.
“Think of somebody you care about who could use a little surprising delight in their life,” says Jeffrey Davis. “What’s one small gesture you could do for them? One small thing… to stoke their curiosity and surprise? That could be just as simple as sending them a handwritten note in the mail.”
Life is so much better when you stop and smell the roses. Learn it for yourself. Better still, encourage those around you to do the same.
Tracking Wonder by Jeffrey Davis is published by Sounds True, Inc. You’ll also find plenty of interesting articles and other information on the author’s website.
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